Silly Spider Stuff

Spider Jokes

Q: How do you spot a modern spider?
A: He doesn't have a web he had a website

Q: What do you call a hundred spiders on a tire?
A: A spinning wheel

Q: What did the spider say when he broke his new web?
A: Darn it

Q: What is red and dangerous?
A: Strawberry and tarantula jelly

Q: What is a spiders favorite TV show?
A: The newly web game

Q: Why are spiders like tops?
A: They are always spinning

Q: What do you call a big Irish spider?
A: Paddy long legs

Q: What does a spider do when he gets angry?
A: He goes up the wall

Q: What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant?
A: I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses!

Q: What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?
A: It became a daddy short legs

Q: Why did the spider cross the road?
A: To look for a new web-site

Q: What has 8 legs and likes living in trees?
A: Four anti-logging activists

Spider Experiment:

Two scientists are talking in a lab one day and one says to the other, "Wait till you see my latest discovery. It'll blow your mind!" Naturally intrigued, the second scientist asks for a demonstration of this amazing discovery. At his request, the first scientist gets a spider out of a matchbox, places it on the desk and says, "Spider FORWARDS!" At his command, the spider moves forwards. The scientist then says, "Spider, TURN AROUND", to which the spider obeys. The scientist then says "Spider, FORWARDS", and again the spider does exactly as it is told. The second scientist, impressed with his friend's command of the spider, congratulates him on his work.

The first scientist then replies, "No, you haven't seen my discovery yet. Wait till you see *THIS*", and he then pulls all of the spiders legs off and places it back on the desk. The first scientist then repeats his order to the spider "Spider, FORWARDS", but the spider doesn't move. "Spider, TURN AROUND". But it still doesn't move. By this point the second scientist is getting a little confused, and so asks his friend what it is he's trying to do, pointing out that the spider isn't going to move. "Exactly!" the first replies. "I've just discovered that when you pull a spider's legs out, they go deaf!"

The Difference between stew and whey:

Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey;
There came a big spider,
And sat down beside her,
And frightened Miss Muffet away.

Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her Irish stew.
Along came a spider,
And sat down beside her,
So Miss Muffet ate him too.