(Updated 2001 Oct 30)

The Wisdom of Chris


Chris, in reference to this quote page:


That's just wrong.

I'm tired.

Ohh, my back.

I don't want to be here.

I don't do stairs.

I should become a gigolo while I still have hair.

I think we should just let some more people die.

I want anarchy!

Half the commandments are bunk.

The Catholic church thinks if they beat it into you, you'll actually
believe it.

I do not have prejudices that are negative!

I wonder if I can get a handicapped permit because I'm lazy.

I don't see anything wrong with greed.

There are always suicides. Who cares? Go ahead!

I hate people.

It's all <insert name>'s fault.

I believe there are certain rules to desserts.

I can do no wrong.

I don't allow people to blame anything on me.

I don't believe in sins.

I can go anywhere I damn well please!

I like to have *everyone* suffer. It's more fun that way.

My tolerance has been pretty low lately.

I'm offended by that.

You should never give someone an unloaded gun to play with.

I am not a bad influence on anybody.

Nobody should hate me. I'm great!

[On apartments without air conditioning] I die just walking to the car!

I'm saintly.

Nobody can ignore me.

I like to rain on everybody's parade.

If I watched my comments, I'd never speak.

They think I'm negative.

I think masses of people should be following me blindly.

CAS: Sometimes it sucks to be white.
TRS: Sure you get elected to public office easily...
CPM: ...but you [sun] burn and you have no rhythm.

NRF: Gosh, this seems too organized for us.
CPM: Then it probably is.

CPM: My back hurts. It's not from exercise.
TRS: Maybe it's from *lack* of exercise.
CPM: I wonder if veal feels like this.

NRF: That would be a real bummer not to be able to go outside.
CPM: Depends who you are.

NRF: You used to be so nice. Now you're so mean.
TRS: It's Chris's fault.
CPM: Yeah, I have that effect on people.

TRS: "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."
CPM: It depends how you waste it.

NRF: Costco is pretty convenient.
CPM: Except for the walking.

CPM: I want everyone to spell everything my way.
TRS: You're going to have to take over the world.
CPM: I'm working on that.

NRF: I don't know what men require.
CPM: Food.
TRS: Water.
CPM: A TV controller.

NRF: You have to take every positive thing that comes your way.
CPM: Especially out of *my* mouth.

TRS: I'm glad you think you're funny.
CPM: Well, I have to amuse myself somehow.


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